You Can’t Always Get What you Want…

Yesterday, something wonderful and scary happened.
I got what I wanted.

Now, please bear in mind, I’m WAY more accustomed to disappointment.
When I had a big audition with a traveling theater company years ago, I was beyond nervous but I pulled off a good audition. So much so, that they offered me a spot on their roster. I was elated. I was going to be a paid actress and I would be touring! So, when they asked me to come in to read with people doing the second round of auditioning, I was happy to do it.
You can imagine my shock when I get a call later that day, saying that after watching me again, they rescinded their offer. I was… heartbroken.

A few years after that, I auditioned for a musical. THE musical that I’d been praying I could do. I was so scared. My audition wasn’t the best, but I got through it. And I showed enough personality to get a callback. A callback for the role of a lifetime. I’d already made up my mind that I would do the show no matter what the outcome of the callback. Which was a good mindset, I guess, since they had managed to cast my coveted role in the 18 hours between my audition and my “callback.” They had cast someone else and I got to watch her sing the songs I longed to do.

I was… devastated.

When I discovered that the man who would become my husband was just about everything I had asked for in a man, my first instinct was to run.
This was too good to be true. Something justĀ had to be wrong with him.
Of course, there ARE things wrong with him, but he accepts my crazy. Why shouldn’t I do the same?
To this day, I still occasionally ask him, “are you sure”?
Well, if he isn’t, it’s too late now!

So, I went to an open call yesterday.
I slogged through the rain and the humidity to find the theater and to put my name on the waiting list. Only, there was no list. There was one guy in front of me on line and that was it. I’d prepared a short monologue, but they didn’t need it. Cold reading, it is.
They asked about my schedule and that was it. In and out in 30 minutes!
I felt so good, I wandered a bit on my way to the train. Found a new place to buy hats.
I like hats.
I even stopped by the little cupcake lover truck. Had a strawberry cupcake that took me back to my childhood! I thought to myself, a fabulous end to a fabulous day.
Then I got home and discovered that the director had already called me.
I called back and he offered me the part.
A lead role in an Off-Broadway play.
Now, it’s “fabulous” with a capital “F!”
Now, to some this doesn’t mean much. I have friends who have done Broadway and for them, this would be just another day. For non-theater persons, this means absolutely nothing.

But for a stage mommy who’s still struggling and has been trying to get out of the “no budget, no press, no audience” type of theater I’ve been doing, it is a big, FREAKIN’ deal.
And that’s the problem. It’s the moment I’ve been waiting for and I’m honestly waiting for the other shoe to drop.
But, for now, we’ll see.
The rehearsal process begins Monday.
I’m very, very used to not getting what I want, so when I do, it scares me.

But maybe this will turn out to be like my husband, and I’ll end up getting what I want and need.

We’ll see.

One comment

  1. Matty says:

    Finllay! This is just what I was looking for.

    [WORDPRESS HASHCASH] The poster sent us ‘0 which is not a hashcash value.

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