Did you say something, Maggie?

Oh!

So, a friend of mine had an extra ticket to a Broadway show.

Free matinee. Whoo!

She took me to see Cat on a Hot Tin Roof, with Scarlett Johanson.

Hmmm…

Yeah.

Now, I don’t claim to be any kind of expert on Tennessee Williams.

However, one thing that I’ve noticed is that in a Williams play, there always seems to be another, unseen, ever-present character. The Heat.

The Heat of the South.

The Heat of the Moment.

There is always Lust, with a capital L, in the air.

And from what I understand, the tumultuous relationship between main characters Brick and Maggie, must be fraught with chemistry. Lots and lots of chemistry.

Kids,

I’ve made baking soda volcanoes that had more chemistry than those two.

It was… bad. Wow, was it bad.

If your performance is being outshone by the set design…

Holy cats! You got a problem, son.

There was no there there.

In all honesty, I found the production no good. There were some moments of saving grace (God Bless Debra Monk), but overall, you could see the edits, revisions and how they left holes in things left and right. Things that were added in just did not help, they were hindrances. I won’t give details in case you do see the show, but I will say this. _
_

I went in with the pre-conceived idea that Johanson would disappoint.

I’m kind of sorry to say, I was really, really right.

SHE’S TOO YOUNG!!

She’s too young to play Maggie the Cat, plain and simple.

There’s no tension, there’s no fight in her.

And, how can one do the entire opening monologue in a Tennessee Williams play in a slinky, silky slip and not be sexual. At. All?

And half the time, with her husband in the room (that she supposedly begs to have sex with), she talked as if she had no connection with him, whatsoever. I asked my friend “Does she know he’s there?”

But it wasn’t just her. If only it were that easy.

It was bad across the board.

No malice, no bitterness, just disappointment.

Oh! And why is the lady sitting next to ME the only chick in the theater that has no idea how to turn off her iPhone?

No, seriously.

It went off during the first act and when she sat there fumbling with it during both intermissions (yes, I said, both), I came within a hair’s breath of snatching it out of her hands. AHHHHH!

Okay, I’m done.

Good night.