Archive for September 25, 2011

You Can’t Always Get What you Want…

Yesterday, something wonderful and scary happened.
I got what I wanted.

Now, please bear in mind, I’m WAY more accustomed to disappointment.
When I had a big audition with a traveling theater company years ago, I was beyond nervous but I pulled off a good audition. So much so, that they offered me a spot on their roster. I was elated. I was going to be a paid actress and I would be touring! So, when they asked me to come in to read with people doing the second round of auditioning, I was happy to do it.
You can imagine my shock when I get a call later that day, saying that after watching me again, they rescinded their offer. I was… heartbroken.

A few years after that, I auditioned for a musical. THE musical that I’d been praying I could do. I was so scared. My audition wasn’t the best, but I got through it. And I showed enough personality to get a callback. A callback for the role of a lifetime. I’d already made up my mind that I would do the show no matter what the outcome of the callback. Which was a good mindset, I guess, since they had managed to cast my coveted role in the 18 hours between my audition and my “callback.” They had cast someone else and I got to watch her sing the songs I longed to do.

I was… devastated.

When I discovered that the man who would become my husband was just about everything I had asked for in a man, my first instinct was to run.
Away.
Quickly.
This was too good to be true. Something justĀ had to be wrong with him.
Of course, there ARE things wrong with him, but he accepts my crazy. Why shouldn’t I do the same?
To this day, I still occasionally ask him, “are you sure”?
Well, if he isn’t, it’s too late now!

So, I went to an open call yesterday.
I slogged through the rain and the humidity to find the theater and to put my name on the waiting list. Only, there was no list. There was one guy in front of me on line and that was it. I’d prepared a short monologue, but they didn’t need it. Cold reading, it is.
They asked about my schedule and that was it. In and out in 30 minutes!
I felt so good, I wandered a bit on my way to the train. Found a new place to buy hats.
I like hats.
I even stopped by the little cupcake lover truck. Had a strawberry cupcake that took me back to my childhood! I thought to myself, a fabulous end to a fabulous day.
Then I got home and discovered that the director had already called me.
I called back and he offered me the part.
A lead role in an Off-Broadway play.
Now, it’s “fabulous” with a capital “F!”
Off-Broadway!!
Now, to some this doesn’t mean much. I have friends who have done Broadway and for them, this would be just another day. For non-theater persons, this means absolutely nothing.

But for a stage mommy who’s still struggling and has been trying to get out of the “no budget, no press, no audience” type of theater I’ve been doing, it is a big, FREAKIN’ deal.
And that’s the problem. It’s the moment I’ve been waiting for and I’m honestly waiting for the other shoe to drop.
But, for now, we’ll see.
The rehearsal process begins Monday.
I’m very, very used to not getting what I want, so when I do, it scares me.

But maybe this will turn out to be like my husband, and I’ll end up getting what I want and need.

We’ll see.

Mama Rose doesn’t live here

Since I’ve updated my “About me” page and described myself as a “Stage mommy,” I wanted to clarify that.
There are women out there who have a tendency to push their children into acting, dancing, whatever because:
a) the kid has an aptitude for it, but more importantly…
b) Mom gets to live vicariously through the child’s accomplishments.

That is a “Stage Mom.”
A mother who is relentless in the pursuit of her child’s fame for the sake of their own validation. Yeah, I’m looking dead at you, Mrs. Spears.
Of course, the ultimate archetype of this is Mama Rose from Gypsy.
I LOVE that show.
The music is fantastic, the book is dramatic and what attention hog doesn’t have “Rose’s Turn” in her back pocket?
Mama Rose is the ultimate role and only actresses in the upper echelon of Diva can truly pull it off.

But, my friends have specific instructions to put me away if I ever become like that woman. Keep me away from my child(ren) should I ever start pushing them beyond the boundaries of sanity and common sense, driving them to do something because I never did.

No, as ridiculous as it sounds, I will continue to audition and sing and practice and show off my jazz hands for as long as I love it. When I stop loving it, I will stop doing it. I will not force my Little Man into the business. Should he become a doctor instead, I would not object (what good Jewish mother would object?).
That could be why I haven’t given up yet. I denied myself the joy of these things for a very long time in an effort to be sensible and practical. I’m now in the part of my life where some things I just have to do for my own sake. And this is the biggest of them all.

So, Little Man’s mommy may never be a star, but she will be a much happier person for trying.
And when the Queen is happy, the land is happy.

Don’t Stop Me Now

I introduced my little man to the music of Queen today. It seemed appropriate.
He has declared that now HE is Freddy Mercury. #Proud mommy moment

It’s on Random!